Homosexuality has long been taboo in India, and anti-gay and lesbian prejudices remain widespread. But, just as is the case in many traditional cultures, there also has long been an underground gay and lesbian culture.The fact that we say we are ‘straight’ so are we implying that the others are not-so-straight, crooked, weird? We take for granted that we are heterosexuals therein lies the battle. How many of us have asked ourselves what are our sexual preferences? Most educated people whom we think are ‘open minded’ keep making statements like, ‘it’s not normal.’
It is not a disease for heaven’s sake! It’s a personal choice and there is absolutely no need to ‘cure’ homosexuality.
Marriage is a sacrosanct institution at least as far as our country is concerned. A compelling question here is why do we marry? Love, security, family, society, sex, convenience? Most of us marry for convenience. No one wants to be picked on by the society for being single. We are a patriarchy. We marry; have children, so that the property stays in the family. The children take the father’s name, his property. Thus, the very concept of homosexuality goes against that of the conventional marriage process. Most people believe that Hindu scriptures term homosexuality an act against the religion, and families routinely kick out their gay or lesbian offspring. A woman upholds the society and a change in her sexual preferences is a threat to society or so is perceived. In fact very few of us know that Hinduism has a word for lesbianism and it’s not offensive - samyonikta.
The gung-ho views on homosexuality in Mumbai shadow harsh realities. While the city appears to, by most accounts, provide gay and lesbian couples more security and acceptance, it also seems to limp towards covering the plenty of distance left.
Vrushal Barot, a 25-year-old call centre employee who gave up on the clandestine by telling his mother about his homosexuality is part of a subculture - gay or lesbian, middle class or upper-middle class, educated and professional - that has found its nooks of comfort in a metropolis that accommodates rather than excludes. That’s the big reason why Mumbai today is considered the homosexual capital of India by many gay and lesbian groups.
“In Mumbai, I’ve never felt singled out because of my sexuality,” says Barot who feels that a few giggles or friendly banter here and there is fine. Most important is the basic human respect which he asserts he gets in plenty, from his colleagues in office who know he is gay.
Incidental evidence suggests that attitudes have not changed enough for homosexuals in the city to wear their sexuality on their sleeve. But it is on the social acceptance factor that Mumbai comes out ahead. “In Mumbai, people tend to mind their own business,” says Barot. “We are quite comfortable living this way, but nobody wants to risk coming out in the open with statements and the like.”
As attractive as Mumbai’s gay/lesbian parties is the opportunity the city affords homosexuals to associate with each other - make new friends, establish fresh contacts and strike up sexual alliances. “The movement in Mumbai is very cultural and gays and lesbians here are slowly creating public space for themselves,” says Mayur Dhanwani of Bomgay, an organisation that offers homosexuals a forum where they can come together.
Gay and lesbian activists say there has been a significant change in recent years in Mumbai’s attitude towards homosexuality and homosexuals. Barot claims even the police - still, according to many gays and lesbians, the most feared of the state’s tools of harassment - treat him “decently.”
‘The walls’, the oldest gay cruising area in the city, where nocturnal creatures venture out with darkness on their side still stands erect a strong foundation. The increasing number of gay parties in Mumbai is another indication of progress. Dressed in the latest fashions, the “kings and queens” strut out for the Gaybombay parties that have been going strong for over five years, held on two Saturdays a month.
However lesbians do find it difficult to find more women like them. “There is very less visibility,” says Shalini Gupte, a lesbian working with Humjinsi, a helpline for lesbians. Gupte points out that it really depends as to how people will behave once they know you are not part of the ‘normal’ stream. You may be either sidelined or accepted or they may just be indifferent. “There is a large active population of queer women in the city you can mingle with. Once I was sitting in a bar in Bandra when a group of guys passed comments and said, “You lesbians.” He used it as a curse word. I just turned around and said, “Yes we are.” They shut up after that.”
Gupte’s colleague (a 34 year old) at the Humjinsi who does not wish to reveal her identity explains, “It seems difficult to believe that Mumbai is touted the most friendly (city in India) for homosexuals. My experiences have led me to believe that this place is homophobic. Gay men are so much freer; it’s harder for lesbians. We have tried opening a separate counselling centre for lesbians and it was such a problem. There are constant queries, cops intervene and harass us, people are excessively inquisitive, and even hiring dedicated, sensitive staff is a tough call.”
Bollywood’s pomp and clamminess make Mumbai a natural draw for gays, perhaps. But just how gay-friendly is India? Like many developing countries, India is far from securing any form of gay rights, legally or socially. The law makes consensual sex between two adults of the same sex a criminal offense punishable by up to 10 years in prison. It was imposed in 1861 by British colonial authorities and continues to be the same till date.
Local gay groups are fighting against part of the Indian penal code that makes any homosexual act illegal and punishable with life imprisonment. Fortunately for the ones who fall into this subculture it is rarely enforced, but police often threaten with it when looking for bribes. So, overall there’s more cheer than gloom. Young ‘queer’ men and women have begun to lead life on their own terms. Mumbai seems to be making it a bit easier for them to do so.
Also by surya
- Quizzing - Passion, art and career - August 24th, 2007
- Disabled by the system - June 20th, 2007
- Broken People - April 29th, 2007
- Alone in the City - January 16th, 2007
- Women of a Different Mould - November 27th, 2006